It’s not the right time to be sober, now the idiots have taken over!

I'm deleting this name.
I haven't been on in ages.
My life has changed.
I don't want to delete it
but I need a new start.
I'll probably meet you
somewhere else anyways...?
If you want my new
name just leave a comment,
and I'll send it to you
once I get one.

Take care dears.
Hope all works our for you
in the end.

<333

I'm a fake.
I'm useless.
I'm fat.
I wish he wouldn't ignore me.
I'm ugly.
I'm paranoid.
I want to laugh and it be real.
I don't want to be sober.
I need a hug.
I need someone.
I lie.
I wish I weren't so fucked up.
I need to be smaller.
I can't take too much more.
Somethings never change...
and that sucks.

I haven't talked to joshua in
forever. i miss him and he doesn't
even care. what is there to do but
give up. hrm. that makes me sad.

school tomarrow. dreding this week
a lot more then you can imagine.
test anxiety. i don't want to do bad,
but it is inevitable.

<33
( motion city soundtrack=the future freaks me out )

oh man.what a fucking awesome
ass day. Saturday the 14
rocked.

First I went to Micheals and
got beads and Ashley and I made
bracelets and necklaces. Then
Ashley H. and Kaitlin came over
we smoked some. Then Adam, Hailey,
and CD came. We walked to McDonalds.
Then to Wendy's. Everyone ate fries
so we could all drinnnk. Kaitlin and
Ashley H left. We walked in the
cold cold cold colllld. Went to Adam's
house and smoked some chronic. And so
Adam and CD got a hotel. hotel= hotel
party for sure. Got vodka and yagermister (sp??).
hmm. and I had a double shot yagerbomb and like
6 or 7 shots of vodka. So basically I
was fucked up. And theeeen we smoked
some more chronic. Ahh. so fun. I was all
over the place. Talking to people
I didn't know. Asking people birthday,
I thought this kid Adam (another one that
had come) and his sister had like
sex and he impregnated her because she
was pregnant and I thought he did it.
lol. i asked like 5 times.
I think I peed infront of that guy (adam)
and hailey. and I remember Adam being like
dude april if i were to cheat on hailey with
anybody it would be you. and i took a lot
of crazy pictures. and Adam (the one i know)
and I walked to 7-11 and it was snowing!!!!
It snowed! yay. Lots of laughing and Ashley
and Angie and I had a fight (play fight). I
played hackey sack alone. lol. I hugged a lot
of people a lot of times and said I loved them.
woke up tipsy...
And now. I feel kinda crappy. but I had so
much fun. i think im gonna chill today.
ashley and i are gonna watch a movie at her
house...maybe.
hmm. im taking a nap now.

i feel bad though. everyone avoided austin.
i dont think he is so bad, but a lot of
everyone else don't like him so much anymore.
idk. if it were up to me he would have came
to the party.

<33

"You're all I see these days,
but you're so f a r away."

<3
april

"you do something to me
that i can't explain,
so would i be out of line
if i said i miss you.
...
i know ill see you again
wether far or soon,
but i need you to know that
i care and i miss you."

staci= then tim came out, and i was crying, and he was like "whats wrong?" then i said nothing..because i always say nothing. then i took my towel and got up, and he was like "no, what's wrong??" I was like "april said bye to me..b/c she might not see me tomarrow...damn im gonna miss her- i dont care what NO ONE says... she is like, my best chick friend"

and that makes me want to cry more,
I'm gonna miss everyone too much.
way too much.
my heart feels torn.
I just want to bleed myself dry.


<3
april

peta.com

you should check it out.

<3
april

Lip Rings are effing hot. YES I'm still thinking about that. lol.
And you know..When a guy smells good..makes me want to get close them. lol. uuugh. DeAndre always smells good. haha. And so does Ethan. yumm.
I like skinny guys. Yes..mm. I do

I need a fuck buddy..Yeah.
KKiDMaGgOtT: maan did you hear tim and staci broke up?...
FiendishFriend34: yeah
KKiDMaGgOtT: ha that sucks
FiendishFriend34: i heard
FiendishFriend34: lol
FiendishFriend34: i heard from this chick that has a locker by me..then i asked him..and it was b/c staci told mike m. shit or w.e..im sure they'll be back together
KKiDMaGgOtT: haha thats what i said
FiendishFriend34: lol
KKiDMaGgOtT: haha yeah
KKiDMaGgOtT: haha i told staci give it a week...then they'll be back together..then i asked tim at the end of the day if he was gonna go back to her..and he said no....haha but i know either way..they're gonna be back together before the week is done lol
FiendishFriend34: haha
FiendishFriend34: yeah, seriously
FiendishFriend34: I think the only reason they get back together is because they don't want to be alone
KKiDMaGgOtT: well tim ha...he wouldn't ...he's got you and abunch of other chicks just waiting for them to break up...its staci thats really worried about that
FiendishFriend34: umm, I'm not waiting for tim to break up with staci
FiendishFriend34: i don't like tim
KKiDMaGgOtT: ha i know...but some chick said you were all over him at lunch so eh lol whatever floats your boat lol
FiendishFriend34: what chick?
KKiDMaGgOtT: i dont know .....
FiendishFriend34: liar
KKiDMaGgOtT: ha i dont..staci said some chick told her that you were all over tim in 1st lunch
FiendishFriend34: haha
KKiDMaGgOtT: so idk
FiendishFriend34: got people spying on me..i feel special

Yeaaah. I don't like tim. Nope..I don't. icky. And Staci is annoying..gaah. Their whole relatioship annoys me. they break up and get back together like a MILLION and ONE times. jeez. so childish..I want to slap them.

Bondage is Hawt.
Glitter Nail Polish is Hawt (but has the possiblity to get tacky..lol).
Lip Rings are Hawt.
Hip Bones are Hawt.
Eyeline is Hawt.
And whores SUCK. Don't just stand by when a guys goes up your skirt and touches your ass. Atleast say something..an "oo baby" would be BETTER then just STANDING there. tehehe ;-D
Buuut Sluts RAWK.

and yes spelling words incorrectly and with Ws is soo cool. haha.

"oo baby"
new quote of the week.

<3
april

If you woke up and I was asleep in bed with you, what would be your first thought?

(Then post this in your journal

b/c im a paranoid freak...

A girl died in 1933 by a homicide murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewared

                     Friends Only.

Comment to be added biatch!

=D 

                                           

 

                             <3

                                april